


Into The Dark

by Soundproof



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-07-05 22:19:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15872844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soundproof/pseuds/Soundproof
Summary: Arthur is a hunter. One of the best hunter there's been since Uther, but he has a problem, a hunter is nothing without his handler and a compatible handler is seemingly impossible to find. Not until, he meets Merlin that is. The first compatible handler he's met in years and he has every intention of going back to hunting with Merlin in tow, but Merlin's life is in disarray, with an abusive family to boot, he has little options and lots of secrets. Not to mention, Merlin has never even heard of supernatural hunters. Will Arthur be able to convince Merlin to join the hunt? And what is Merlin so desperate to hide anyway?





	1. Chapter 1

**Merlin's POV**

There was a point in my life where shit had to give, right? I mean, right? It couldn’t possibly keep going on like this. That’s what I kept telling myself as I stood outside the house I grew up in, a big duffel bag thrown over my shoulder.

Getting kicked out for the umpteenth time since I turned 11 and my mom hooked up with another new asshole that didn’t want a kid around, except this time I was three months away from turning 18 and thank whatever deity there was up there, that I’d gone through the accelerated graduation program and managed to get my high school diploma almost a year ago. I had managed to find work and save some money up to move out, but minimun wage didn’t get you far, especially when you kept getting kicked out, and renting motel rooms for weeks at a time ate up my savings, but this time was different. This time I didn’t have to come back and I might be able to convince my manager to schedule me for more hours. All of which was a good plan, but… the first thing I had to worry about was finding a place to live until I saved up enough money to get my own place, maybe get a better paying job or something. I sighed, looked at my phone, pretty much everyone in there lived with their parents and I couldn’t put them out like that, and the others well, I did not have any intention of calling them up if I could help it.

I looked back at the house and waved at it, “Bye, house. You done treated me good. Can’t say the same for the people livin’ there, but you weren’t bad.” I turned away and just began walking, until I could think of something better to do with my-homeless-self at 2 in the morning.

I walked until I was basically in the middle of downtown. Bars, bars, bars. I scrunched my nose, I never drank before, people always stunk when they were drunk, I really wasn’t sure what the big deal of it was, all I knew is that I didn’t want any drunkard coming out of there and harassing me, ugh. That’s the last thing I needed. I pulled my phone back out of my pocket and looked at the screen. I was starting to get desperate now. Almost three. Fuck. I couldn’t just wander the street the rest of the night. I was tired, hungry, and eventually I’d have to use a bathroom and this fucking bag was heavy. I took a deep breath, staring at my phone. I was gonna have to suck it up and call someone up, and by someone I meant Mordred, because Mordred was the one most likely to pick up my call at this hour and agree to pick me up and let me crash. Of course, Mordred was the last person I wanted to call. He was sweet and kind, tall and scrawny and cute. That was my first impression of him, then he opened his mouth and the verbal diarrhea spilled out. Within 10 minutes I knew his entire life story and about every comic in his collection, I thought he was hilarious, we got along great, right up until the point he got a crush on me and he changed, changed, changed. Then all of a sudden he was constantly hitting on me, clingy, making me super uncomfortable and just so not what I wanted in my life right now. I turned him down, but he still never gave up. I’m sure calling him right now, would only throw fuel to a fire I want to put out. I wanted him to just be my friend again.

But what exactly were my options right now? I felt like I was using his feelings for me to my advantage, even if that wasn’t my intention. I bit my lip, the last thing I wanted to do was wind up hurting him. He was a good person, and he deserved someone who wasn’t as fucked up as me. Naïve. He was naïve and someone like me who had way too many scars and baggage than the next kid would just end up ruining him. I didn’t deserve someone like him. I knew that. He didn’t seem to, I had always kept as much as I could to myself, but I had bruises on my body, scars that I wasn’t strong enough to share yet, that would probably have him recoiling away from me and fuck did I so not want to see the look on his face when he found out how damaged I really was. How paranoid and fucked up I truly was and living with him would be ample opportunity for him to see me for what I  was. Would the light in his eyes when he saw me evaporate? He’d be too nice to kick me out. Damn it. I’d never be able to afford my own place if I kept running to that danky motel, it was the only place I could find that would rent a room to a minor, but I hated, HATED, the owner. He was a creep, with creepy, slimy looking face to fit it and, yeah, I’d pretended not to notice for all these years how he’d look at me every time I came in and lick his lips like I was his next meal. I was not, NOT desperate enough to suck that guys dick for a free room. Even though, I knew if I offered he’d go for it, but ugh no. That could not be the first guy I went down on.

“Fuck!” I yelled out to nobody and smacked my own head with my phone. Always in this position, but this time permanent. I should be glad I didn’t have to go back, I mean I was, it just would’ve been better if I had more money and a place set up to go. My life never did go as planned.

“Are you ok?” Someone said interrupting my thoughts.

I looked up to see this, nerdy tall lanky guy looking at me. Glasses and plaid shirt, with slacks. He had pretty brown eyes and concerned look on his face, almost looked genuine.

“I am fine,” I smiled, “If you’ll excuse me,” I stepped away from him quickly. Never trust random strangers in the middle of the night, guy probably thought I was some kid he could con into doing some nasty shit for a meal. Wouldn’t be the first, but seriously, fuck people already. I was only ten blocks from Mordred’s place. I just had to suck it up and go.

“You don’t look it,” he called after me, “Specially not with that black eye and split lip.”

“Nobody asked you,” I huffed back, “None of your business anyway and as I said, I am fine.”

“Kid, I’m a cop.”

I stopped and arched my brow skeptically at him, and snorted, “And I’m the fucking king of England. Either way, don’t care man.”

“I can take you in for runaway. You shouldn’t be out here this late.”

“I’m eighteen,” I lied easily, it was almost true anyway, “There ain’t no law against anyone my age roaming the streets at night.”

I watched his eyes widen in surprise, “You certainly don’t look it.”

I sighed, “And you don’t look like a cop,” I eyed him up and down, “Not even a badge, so if you think I’m going to pull out my ID for some random stranger so he can have all my information, then you must be _some_ kind of high. I said I’m fine, now I’ll be on my way and you have yourself a goodnight, sir.” I turned back around and started making my way to Mordred’s. It was way too late at night and all the freaks were out. I had no time to piss around and whine about my life. I just needed a safe place to sleep tonight and I’d figure out the rest tomorrow. Maybe I could rent a room somewhere. Would anyone rent to me until I turned 18? Only three months and I’d be entirely legal anyway. I could probably get my boss to give me a reference for it, too. He was cool like that.

I was lost in my thoughts again as I walked, not realizing that the supposed cop was behind me until he placed a hand on my shoulder and I almost elbowed his face by reflex, “What the fuck, man?” I said stepping away from him, “What the hell is your problem?”

“Whoa, there,” he said, backing up, “I told you I’m a cop and I can’t possibly let you go without at least making sure, you’re truly ok, and heading somewhere safe,” he reached his hand to my face and I instantly flinched away so he dropped it, “I can give you my badge number, you can call the station yourself and confirm. I can have another police vehicle here in minutes and the only reason I don’t have a badge on me is because I’m off duty. Have you considered maybe filing a report? Pressing charges? And don’t tell me you walked into a door, because we’d both know you’d be full of shit.”

I frowned at him, “I am headin’ somewhere safe, and there ain’t no point fo none of that shit. I’m fine and I’ll be fine, I’d appreciate you backin’ down and lettin’ me be.”

He frowned, “I can’t force you into anything,” he sighed and reached back, pulling out his wallet and card thereafter and handing it to me, “That’s my card, if you ever just want to talk or need some help, give me a call.”

I looked at the card, “Detective Pendragon,” I read, “I’ll keep that in mind, but if you keep following me, I’ll file a restraining order against you, ‘cause you are fuckin’ creepin me out, man. Back off.”

“Not my intention,” he answered and backed away, “You have my card. All you have to do is call.”

“Whatever,” I shoved the card in my pocket, and turned, speed walking to Mordred’s, almost sprinting, afraid to get stopped by another idiot.

I had planned to call before I showed up. I should’ve, but I’d been in a rush and before I knew it I was standing in front of his door, panting like a madman. I gave myself a minute to straighten up and catch my breath before actually calling finally. I bit my lip as it rang, five times before he picked up with a groggy, “Merlin?”

“Hey, good morning,” I answered nervously, “You busy?”

“I was sleeping,” he yawned, “It’s like 3:30. Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, I figured, but I kinda need a huge favor and I am sorry about waking you, I just didn’t know who else to turn to at this hour.”

“What’s going on?” He said, sounding more alert, “Are you ok? Where are you? What do you need?”

“I’m fine, I just need you to open your door for now.”

“What? You’re here?”

“Yeah, Mordred, please, I really need the bathroom.”

“Y-yeah ok,” I heard a thud from the door, and figured he just fell out of bed, “Coming!” He said and a seconds later he opened the door, eyes wide in surprise, “You’re really here?”

“Yes!” I pushed passed him, “Bathroom, explanation after, I swear.” I bolted to his bathroom, looked at my face and cleaned off the blood as best as I could. Didn’t look any better, but well, best I could do for now. After a few minutes, I came back out and saw him sitting on his bed. His place was a small studio apartment. His bedroom and kitchen were all one space. He did his best to spruce things up, I could tell for how neat he kept it. It was small, but comfortable. He said it was cheaper than the dorms at the college he went to and his family lived two hours away, too far to commute for classes.

“Your face,” he said frowning.

“Yeah, about that, could I crash for a day? I swear it’ll only be for a day, I ain’t mean to be takin’ over your space or anything. I just don’t have a place to go and it’s real short notice, I’ll figure somethin’ out after I sleep, I promise.”

“What?” he blinked, standing up and walking towards me, he looked at me and raised his hand to my face, I backed away quickly and noticed his eyes begin to tear up, “What happened, Merlin?”

“Nothin’!” I answered. He crossed his arms, “Seriously? _That’s_ what you’re going with?”

I looked down and bit my lip, “Ok, maybe not nothin’, but nothin’ out of the norm. It’s just a couple of bruises, it’ll heal up in a lil’ bit and it’s over. Three months till I’m 18, I ain’t goin’ back. She can’t do nothin’ bout it.”

“We need to-“

“No,” I interrupted, “Callin’ cops just gonna bring me more trouble than what it’s worth. Like I said, I ain’t  goin’ back. It’s over. Just gotta figure out a place to stay till I can get my own. Please, Mordred, just let me crash.”

He let out a huge sigh and said, “Merlin, you can stay here for as long as you need. Why didn’t you ever tell me you were going through something like this?”

“It ain’t nothin’ I wanted to broadcast,” I shrugged, “Please, let it go.”

Mordred took a step forward and circled his arms slowly around me and pulled me into a hug, I tensed in his arms. Feeling like a broken child. “You can stay as long as you want,” he whispered, “I’ll have a key made for you tomorrow, you don’t have to rush out of here.”

I nodded, “Thanks, I won’t be here long, though, I’m not gonna intrude in your space like that, Mordred.”

He let me go and gave me a curious look, “You know that’s not how I see it. I like you, I get you don’t feel the same way, but you should at least know I don’t look at it like that.”

I shrugged and looked away from him, “I-I guess. I’ll take the floor.”

“No you’re not.”

“I ain’t puttin’ you out like that.”

“We can share. It’s a queen, we’ll fit. Totally platonic, I swear.”

I fidgeted for a second, “Fine. I ain’t arguin’ with you.”

“Good. I got some ibuprofen in the bathroom, you’re gonna take it, it’ll help with swelling and tomorrow you’re icing that thing,” he pointed at my eye, then looked me up and down, “Also, you could shower, fyi, the hot water only last about ten minutes,” he shrugged, “Gets the job done.”

I smiled, “Shower sounds great, actually, and cold water is the least of my worries right now. Don’t know how I’ll ever thank you, S’mores. I owe you for this. I ain’t got much, but I can help with the bills and I’ll talk to Gaius about picking up more hours, I reckon he ain’t gonna say no, since I’m almost 18 and all.”

He gave me a shy smile, “We can figure out logistics tomorrow, or later today. You need rest and I got class in the morning, but I’ll call you when I can and I should be home by 1, k?”

“Yeah ok,” I turned and grab my bag from the floor where I had dropped it on my rush to the bathroom, “Towel?”

“In the bathroom cupboard,” he nodded.

“Thanks,” I opened my bag and pulled a clean shirt and some shorts out and took as quick a shower as I could. Popping open his medicine cabinet after and shoving a couple pills down my throat, I came out about 15 minutes later finding him lying in bed already falling asleep. I crawled in next to him. It was the first time I’d ever slept next to someone, especially not someone I was attracted to, so I was a bit nervous, but I was more tired than anything and found myself passing out before I even realized it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter of a new Merthur fic. *takes a deep breath* Here it is! Enjoy?


	2. Chapter 2

When I woke up, Mordred was gone. A glance at the clock saying it was noon, explained why. I stood up slowly, sore and still tired, but feeling better. Headache full throttle, I stumbled to his kitchen where I saw a plate in the counter, the bottle of ibuprofen, and a note with the word “Eat” written on it.

I smiled despite myself and ate the breakfast he’d made. It was simple and cold, and, yeah, I could’ve heated it up, but it was delicious regardless and made me want to cry. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone made me anything. Man, was I fucked up. I looked for my phone and saw a missed call from Mordred and a couple of texts from him too. I quickly told him I’d just woke up before calling Gaius. It was a short conversation and he agreed to give me more hours starting tomorrow. I’d come in at 8. I was good with that. I worked at a 24-hour convenient store, for minimum wage, but it was better than nothing and soon as I turned 18 I could get a second job. I had all my paperwork with me, I wasn’t stupid enough to leave it and on that end I thought I would be fine, but staying here with S’mores wouldn’t be a good thing. His puppy dog eyes pulled at my heart in ways I couldn’t imagine, but I’d turned him down already and the last thing I needed was a relationship right now and I could NOT pull that guy into all of my shit any more than I already had.

I bit my lip and started looking up rooms for rent on my phone. Blanking at the prices. No way I could afford shit on part time pay or even had enough for a down payment right now. Fucking $150 a week for a room alone and common areas I had to share. I barely broke $200 on a bi-weekly paycheck. So what? Either pay rent or eat? I was screwed. I tossed my phone on the counter and washed the dishes I saw in the sink, then began pacing in the small place. I wanted to scream in frustration. Always. Always my back was against the wall. Always felt like I was on the verge of breaking apart, tired of nothing ever going right.

The numbness had left the window and now I was just mad. I wanted to punch something, throw shit, scream and cry, but it was pointless. It wouldn’t make anything better and I felt just as useless, frail and weak as I always did. That was the worst part of it. I sat on his bed in defeat. I had to stop with the pity party, I knew I did, but every fucking bruise in my body, reminded me of being on the ground. Begging for it to end. So many times, it had happened. Too many times. Being here alone, unable to quiet my brain, unable to tell my brain to shut up and quit reminding me of the shit I needed to forget was hard. I felt like I was drowning, but I should’ve been able to push it away, because I couldn’t remember a time when I hadn’t felt like that and I should’ve been used to it by now. I really should’ve. I was drowning and I was broken, and too weak to pull myself out.

I just wanted to give up.

Really, I needed to stop, because if I was anything, anything at all, I was a survivor and I would not let all that bullshit beat me now. Not after I made it this far. I just needed to push myself some more and be patient, no matter how tired I was of being patient. That’s what I did. That was the whole point of my existence at this point. To survive. However, useless I may be.

I stood back up and shrugged myself out of it. Eventually, maybe I could even be somebody useful, if I worked hard enough. Maybe I could actually be _somebody_ , instead of just… some dumb, weak fuck wandering around with his thumb up his ass being a burden to anyone who actually mattered.

Sure, I’d probably never be able to have a family or anybody really love me, but at least I could not be me anymore and that was something. More than I’d ever have, maybe I could even go to college or something, like Mordred, he was going to get his bachelor’s in information technology. That was cool. If I studied hard enough I might be able to pull off getting a degree someday. I wasn’t as smart as he was, but I’m sure if worked hard enough, I could manage to pass. There you go, something to look forward to.

I nodded to myself, feeling better. That was at least a somewhat achievable plan. Maybe Mordred would lend me his laptop and I could start applying to other jobs. Maybe something that paid a little better, it was hard though. I was limited not only by age and work experience, but the whole no vehicle thing made things even more difficult to find work.

I looked at the clock again, only 12:32, I could take a short walk at least. Blow off some steam. I got dressed and shot Mordred another text, in case he got back before I did and took off. Wandering around aimlessly. Getting looks for the bruises on my face. Whatever. Ain’t anybody’s place to judge me.

I kept walking around for a long while, until I landed myself on a bench and people watched for a while. Mostly anybody who got a glanced at my face looked away and took a step further from me. Hell, it wasn’t like I was contagious, but people are fucking dumb about shit like this. No way, would I land another job looking like this. I wasn’t sure how long I sat there for, spacing out and answering concerned texts here and there from Mordred. Telling him I just needed a bit of time to think. He said he got it, but I wasn’t sure he did.

People didn’t usually “get” me, not really. You don’t understand fucked up, unless you been through fucked up and Mordred didn’t come from anything like what I did, but he was at least trying to get it and that was good enough for me.

I was watching all types of people walk by. Dirty, clean, prissy, bored, upset. Then out of nowhere I hear, “It’s you.”

I turned slowly to face the voice of the “cop” I ran into last night looking at me. I blinked at him. He looked better in the daylight, younger even, or maybe I hadn’t really paid attention, but he looked good. He wasn’t lanky, you could tell he had strong arms and broad shoulders, still had the thick nerdy glasses, but not as creepy as I remembered him. He was toned, with blonde hair and penetrating brown eyes. Eyes that were now studying me as if I was a mystery he had to figure out.

“Please tell me you didn’t sleep here all night.”

I frowned at him, “Of course not, I stayed with a friend,” I looked at his waist seeing a badge hanging from him and said, “Huh, maybe you really are a cop.”

He rolled his eyes at me and smiled, “I told you I was.”

“It was almost 3 in the morn’, creeps always come out at night,” I answered, not exactly apologizing for not believing him.

“Creeps?” a new voice added, stepping out from behind him, “Whoa, your face. You ok?” I saw the man shifting to pull a tablet from his pocket and noticed a badge clipped to his pants. He was taller than Pendragon and looked a lot more uh fit. Blue eyes and light brown hair. The guy looked like a professional model. He eyed me up and down and I felt myself tense at him. He seemed more like a hard ass.

“I’m fine and you best put that away, officer, cause I ain’t sayin’ jack. Ain’t your business unless I want it to be and we both know that.”

“You’re a minor,” he quirked his brow.

“Oh no, I ain’t. Just like I told your partner, I’m 18 and it’s my decision.”

He frowned and looked at Pendragon, “You’re really 18?”

“Ain’t no sense in lying to ya’ll and you know that, too. I ain’t stupid.”

“No you aren’t,” Pendragon nodded, “Yeah, I believe him.”

I twitched and got up, “If that’s it, I’ll be on my way,” but Pendragon stepped forward and stopped me before I could take a step.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“What’s it to you?”

“Seriously? Just tell me, kid.”

I jerked away from him, “Merlin Wells,” I grumbled quietly.

He gave me a small smile, “Where are you staying now, Merlin?”

“With a friend.”

“I want an address.”

“Why?”

“So I can check up on you and make sure you’re safe.”

I scowled, “I ain’t no baby. I don’t need no-one lookin’ after me.”

“Probably not, but I want to anyway. Sides, to protect and serve, it’s in my job description and I want to confirm your story.”

I scowled at him even harder, “Corner of 5th street and franklin. Red brick building apartment 304. It’s a walk up. Ain’t expectin’ you to show and if you do, I probably be workin’ anyhow, so I’d rather if you just let me be. I ain’t done nothin’ for you to be buggin’ me.”

He nodded, “Alright. I can understand that, but I still might show up to make sure you’re ok.”

“Whatever, detective,” I said enunciating the word.

“Have you eaten?”

I rolled my eyes, “I ain’t need yo charity and yeah I ate. So if you’ll excuse me, I best be on my way.”

He sighed, “Yeah, ok, but remember what I said. You call if you need anything.”

“Whatever,” I said, blowing him off and quickly leaving. I made my way back to Mordred’s and knocked to be let in. He immediately opened the door and I saw the tension roll of his shoulders when he saw it was me, “You’re back. Got your key for you,” he said stepping to the side and letting me in.

“Yeah, sorry, s’mores, I had to be alone for a bit, ya know?”

“It’s ok. I get it,” he nodded, “Key is on the counter.”

I nodded and slowly picked it up, feeling it in my hand, “Thank you, Mordred, for the food and for everythin’ really.”

He hugged me from behind, “Talk to Gaius?”

“Yeah he gave me a full shift for tomorrow to start, said we’ll talk more about my schedule then, and I looked up places to rent,” I frowned, “Might be stayin’ here bit longer than I thought.”

“You know I’m ok with that,” he whispered into my neck and I sighed, fighting myself from leaning into him and just letting somebody, _anybody,_ carry my weight for a bit.

“I know, s’mores, but it don’t feel right. Feel like I’m takin’ advantage of your kindness and I ain’t wanna do that. Not to you of all people.”

“You said you’d help with the bills, that’s not taking advantage, that’s a roommate. I mean, I don’t need it, you know, so you don’t have to, but you can if you want to,” he said pressing his lips to my neck.

I shuddered involuntarily, the tenderness of his lips on my skin, the warm breath, his arms encircling me, almost making me feel… well I didn’t know, I never let anyone touch me like this. I pulled away, “I’m definitely helpin’, even if I can’t help much for now. I ain’t lettin’ you carry my weight like that.”

Mordred turned me around and gave me such an earnest look, that some part of myself that I didn’t recognize wanted to give into him. “You could,” he whispered, “I wouldn’t mind helping you in whatever you need.”

“Mordred, you know I-“

“I know. I’m not asking you to,” he said, taking hold of my hands, “I mean if you ever do, that would be great, but I mean this only as friends.”

I squeezed his hands, “I know you do. Thanks Mordred, you’ve done more than enough. I gotta figure the rest out for myself.”

“Ok,” he smiled, “Let me know if I can help with anything else.”

“I will. Now, you hungry?”

“Starved,” he grinned at me.

“Well let’s see what we got in this kitchen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Takes another deep breath* This story has got my nerves wracked. I'm not saying I'm not enjoying it, but Mer-bear's got me nervous and Arthur is hella suspicious. Hmm... And I still don't have a name for it.... I'm hoping it'll just come to me, but there are so many things about this one to get into that I haven't felt quite settled in it yet. Gotta strap on tight, I feel like I'm in for another long ride.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few weeks went by like a blur, I fell back to numbness, having an excruciatingly awkward conversation with Gaius regarding the current state of my face and my new work schedule. I wanted to switch to nights, for the differential, but he said until I turned 18, he had to stick to the minor curfew and he agreed to up my hours, but only enough that it would still be considered part-time and promised to revisit it when I actually did turn 18, but offered me a .50 cent raise, most likely out of pity, said I’d been working there long enough to earn it anyway. It was the highest raise I ever heard of and I needed it, so I wasn’t going to argue with him about it.

Everyone at work found out I was staying with Mordred and made googly eyes and kissy faces at us, every chance they got. It was stupid, but it made me smile, Mordred, of course, didn’t help matters, blushing like a school girl every time they did it. All in all, I felt like my life was getting a little more steady, I was still pissed I couldn’t afford my own place, but Mordred made it real easy to live with him, well except for the constant touching and hugging shit. It made me feel guilty, I didn’t want to push him away, part of me liked it, part of me felt like it was too much and the majority of me knew, even if we tried something, it wouldn’t work.

Mordred helped me prepare a resume, though there wasn’t much to put on there, other than writing awards, and two previous employment places. Couldn’t apply anywhere anyway, not until my face healed up at least, and definitely not anywhere I couldn’t work out a bus schedule to. I’ve never driven a car and had no license to speak of, not like I could afford a car anyway, so that was that.

I spent most of my time off at the library, reading books about different things. Trying to learn about different types of jobs, so maybe I could land a better paying gig.

Today, though, I was feeling lazy, so I scrubbed the place clean, and laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling until Mordred came home. Damn, I was a fucking housewife. I scrunched my nose and laughed at the thought, until a knock came from the door. I looked at the door curiously, until it knocked again, so I forced myself up and trudged over to it, putting the chain on, before unlocking and opening it.

I frowned at the two standing there, “Ugh forreal?” I scowled.

“Hello to you too, Merlin.”

“Can I help you, detective?” I asked, rolling my eyes.

“Just open your door so I can look at your face better.”

“For what?”

“For my own peace of mind. I won’t come in.”

“No.”

“Merlin, please, just let me make sure you’re doing ok.”

“I ain’t gotta prove nothin’ to you.”

“If I have suspicion of a crime, I can force myself in.”

“That’d be a downright lie.”

He sighed in frustration, “Just let me take a look at you and I’ll leave. That’s all I want.”

“Why should I? You doin’ this shit against my will. I have rights, too.”

“Merlin, please stop being stubborn.”

I slammed the door at his face, snickered as he kept calling my name, imagining the stupid look on his face, before removing the chain and opening the door the entire way. I saw the surprise on his face as I did, and huffed, “As you can see, I’m healin’ and got all my limbs in place. I’m fine, so please leave me be.”

Pendragon shook his head at me and his partner gave me an annoyed grunt before saying, “Kid’s fine. Can we go now?”

“Shut up, Percival,” Pendragon huffed, critically studying me.

I scowled at both of them, until Pendragon looked away and assessed the place, “Boyfriend’s place?”

“Ain’t got one of them. Ain’t lookin for one either,” I said giving him a confused look, “Got enough shit to deal wit.”

He nodded, “So you’re single?”

His partner scoffed, “Seriously?”

“What?” Pendragon turned to him, “You got something to say?”

His partner took a step back, threw his hands up in the air, “Whatever. I’m waiting in the car, just hurry up, alright?”

“Fine,” Pendragon answered and waited until Percival left before turning back to me, “So? Single or not?”

I twitched, “Think I already answered that. What’s it to you?”

“I was wondering, if you would be willing to maybe go on a date with me?”

Now I was very confused, “Why?”

“Because I’m attracted to you?”

“You’s attracted to people with bruises on they face? That’s just fucked up.”

“You know that’s not it.”

“You called me a kid. Sure as shit sounds like you’re just fuckin’ wit me.”

“You said you were 18.”

“You said I looked like a minor.”

“I got a better look at you now.”

“You’re _partner_ said I look like a minor too.”

“I don’t give a shit what Percival thinks. Are you saying yes or no?”

“This is fucking weird.”

“That’s a non-answer.”

“Why should I say yes?”

“Why not?”

“I ain’t know you.”

“Dating is getting to know each other.”

“Why would you want me?”

“You’re cute and I like your smart mouth. That’s enough to start off with and as for you, I’m not that bad looking, nice enough, and I have a decent job. Can’t that be enough for you?”

“I don’t believe a word you said,” I huffed, “So no.”

He sighed, “You don’t think you’re cute?”

“I don’t think you really want a date and even if you do, I ain’t lookin’, as I said.”

He looked at his feet, then at the doorway, “Can I come in for a sec?”

“For what?” I squinted at him.

“I’ll show you if you let me in.”

“That’s a non-answer,” I said quoting him.

His lip quirked up at the side, “Can’t you trust me this much?”

I crossed my arms and took a step back, “Go on then.”

He grinned taking quick steps towards me, putting his hand on my neck and softly pressing his lips onto mine. The kiss was tender and sweet. His lips were light on mine, as if he were afraid to hurt me. His hand was softly rubbing my neck and tugging at the bottom of my hair. I closed my eyes, inadvertently leaning my body on his. My hands coming up to his chest and his other arm coming around to the small of my back, pulling me closer still. I felt… Fuck… The fuck was I doing? I shoved him away, surprised at myself and at him.

“The fuck was that?”

He shifted his weight from his right to his left, “Kissing? It was a kiss?”

“Why?”

“I already told you why. Stop acting like an idiot, I know you felt what I did just now,” he sighed, “You’re still going to say no to a date? It’s just one date. Not a commitment, not a relationship, just a date.”

“I ain’t got time for no datin’,” I crossed my arms, “And I ain’t feel nothin’, don’t be puttin’ no words in my mouth.”

“I thought you said there was no point in lying to me?” he arched his brow at me.

“I ain’t even know your name.”

“Arthur Pendragon.”

“If I agree to date, will you drop this shit and leave me alone?”

“Sure, unless I can convince you for a second one.”

“Whatever, man, just go.”

“Not without your number.”

“I got yours.”

“Are you actually going to use it?”

“Yeah, now please go.”

“If you don’t, I’ll be back.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“Fucking weird.”

He grinned, “I’ll admit to that, I’ll see you later,” then he left, closing the door behind himself.

I walked to the door and locked it, then turned leaned my back to it and slid down to the door, putting a finger on my lips and shivering. I didn’t have much experience with kissing, only a bit here and there, never like that though. Never so soft that I felt like melting to the floor. I felt confused. Why would a guy like that, want a guy like me? I didn’t believe it for a second, but then that stupid kiss. Those ridiculously gentle lips, just the thought left me feeling warm and tingly all over to the point I could feel it to my toes. I shivered and brought my knees to my chest. What the fuck was I getting myself into?

Then I cringed, I’m technically jail bait to that guy, least for another couple of months. I’ll just go on a date and break it off. Easy, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3.... Is... this one right here. Yup. Yup. Yup. Comments? Questions? Concerns?


	4. Chapter 4

It took me a week to finally call him, and I only did it because I was sure he meant it when he said he’d come back. I also did it on one of my short breaks, so I’d have a good excuse to get off as quickly as possible. I was kind of hoping he wouldn’t answer and told myself if he didn’t by the third ring, I’d hang up.

Unfortunately, he picked up, “Pendragon, here.”

I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes, “Hello.”

“Merlin?” he immediately asked.

“That would be my name,” I answered.

“You called,” he laughed.

“Yeah, this is me, callin’.”

“I’m glad you finally did.”

“Yeah, ok. So about that date, are we really doing that? You weren’t serious about that, right?”

“I’m extremely serious about it, Merlin. I’m free on Saturday? Sunday is ok too, it’s my weekend off. Well I’ll be on call, but still, tell me you’re available.”

“Saturday.”

“Perfect, pick you up at your place? Say 7?”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Good. How are you doing?”

“Fine. Workin’.”

“Where do you work?”

“Why? So you can start showing up here too?” I snorted.

“Fine,” he laughed, “I’ll save the questions for the date. You’re really ok, though?”

“Yeah. Gotta go, my break is over.”

“Ok. I’ll see you on Saturday, then.”

“Alright,” I said, “Be safe,” hanging up before he could say anything else.

“Fuck,” I said looking up. His voice was smooth on the phone, he sounded happy. Happy that I called. Weird. Oh so, weird.

I walked back in and saw Mordred stocking the shelves, “I might as well tell you now.”

He looked up startled, “Tell me what?”

“Gonna be out this Saturday.”

“Out? Your moving?”

“What? No, not yet, I meant I’ll be going out.”

“Oh… where to? Can I come?”

“It’s be kind of awkward if you did.”

He furrowed his brows at me, “Why would it be awkward?”

“It’s kind of like, well it’s not, but it kind of is…”

“You’re rambling.”

“A date, but not really.”

He blinked in confusion, “What?”

“I only agreed because I thought it would be easier.”

“You’re not making any sense, Merlin, is it a date or not?” he said, his voice a bit shaky.

“It technically is, but I only agreed so he’d leave me alone.”

His eyes went wide and his voice turned hard, “Is someone harassing you?”

“No,” I frowned, “No, he’s a cop,” I kneeled down next to him and began whispering, “He saw me the night I was walking to your place and then we bumped into each other again and I told him I was 18, which is, as you know, a lie, and that I wasn’t going to file a report or whatever and I thought if I said yes to the date, and then blew him off, he’d just drop it and leave me the hell alone, but I didn’t want to keep it from you. I’m not looking for anything like that, s’mores. I thought you knew that.”

“I guess that all makes sense,” he looked away from me, “I thought you only said that to turn me down gently.”

I leaned over and kissed his cheek, then press my forehead to his shoulder, “You’re a special guy, Mordred, and if I could return your feelings I would. I hated hurting you then or now. I ain’t wanna do that shit.”

He reached his arm around my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze, “I know,” then he smirked, “That’s fifth time you dropped your accent around me.”

“Shh,” I whispered, “Someone might hear you, you jerk.”

He snickered, “You are going to have to tell me why you do that eventually you know.”

“I will,” I looked around, “But not here,” I stood up, “I best be gettin’ back to work before Gaius sends a huntin’ party after me.”

He grinned, “Yeah, ok.”

I walked away feeling a wave of guilt hit me, I mean it was only half a lie, but still, he was missing a bit of pertinent information. Like… how he kissed me and how I almost fell apart because of that kiss. And how I did have a crush on Mordred, but shot him down because he was too good for me, and how I also might be feeling some type of something towards a fucking cop, who was legally still too old for me anyway. I mean the guy had to be in his mid-twenties minimum, I had no business dating someone like him and he definitely didn’t have any business being with some kid like me.

I groaned as I reached the register and dropped my head on the counter, wincing at my still sore face.

“You ok?” Catrina asked from behind me. Catrina was another employee of the Quik Stop we worked at, who mostly worked day shift, I’ve known her since I started working here, she handled most of my training. She was in her mid-thirties, short, curvy and moody as fuck, but she’s awesome in her own away.

“Fine,” I mumbled, “Tired.”

“Liar, but I’ll let it go for now.”

I groaned, “I don’t need an interrogation later.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree on that one.”

I straightened and turned to her, “Hey, Cat, why’s my life suck?”

“Cause you’re stubborn and refuse to accept help.”

“I hate you.”

“Mmhm, you’re full of it,” she said leaning over smacking my head lightly, “Assistant manager is opening up, Linda’s quitin’. Night shift. A buck fifty more an hour.”

“You applyin’?”

“Don’t you be smart with me.”

“I can’t work night shift, yet.”

“You get trained on day shift anyway for a few months.”

“I’ve no experience.”

“You’re a shoe in and we both know it. Gaius is gonna pop out any day now and start droppin’ hints for you to apply, and I expect you to do it, Merlin,” she gave me a stern look, “I ain’t playin’ with you, you apply and you do it as soon as you can.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Don’t play with me, child,” she said crossing her arms.

“I’ll apply, but I doubt it’ll amount to nothin’. I ain’t no manager.”

“Shut up, you’ll be good at it.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“You’re smarter than what you give yourself credit for.”

“Sure,” I nodded, “I’m also stupider than you give me credit for.”

She rolled her eyes at me, “Stubborn.”

“Yeah, whatever,” I said turning to face the customer that just walked in, then blanching as soon as I saw who walked in. Fuckin hell.

“Hey, you’re that kid,” that fucking Percival cop said.

“What kid?” a now familiar voice behind him said.

“Mother fucker,” I said under my breath.

“Merlin!” I flinched at the voice, watching Arthur step next to him.

“Well ain’t this some lucky shit,” I said, as Cat stepped up next to me, eying them up and saying, “How can we help you two, officers?”

“Grab me a sub and soda,” Arthur told Percival, then stepped up to the counter, “And, yeah, this is some lucky shit,” he said smiling at me, “Didn’t know you worked here.”

“Yeah, I’m aware,” I mumbled.

“You two know each other?” Cat questioned.

“Hoping to,” Arthur answered.

I rolled my eyes, “We gonna have ourselves a date this Saturday, Cat.”

“You datin’ now?” she smirked at me, “Maybe you ain’t a lost cause after all.”

“Quiet, you,” I scowled at her, “That mouth of yours ain’t helpin’ me right now.”

She laughed, “You respect your elders, boy.”

“I will when I meet one,” I smiled as I saw her eyes light up at the compliment.

“Why don’t you take a break, Merlin? I’ll cover for you,” she grinned, “You can go on and flirt with your boyfriend for a bit.”

“Ain’t got no boyfriend,” I frowned, “And I just got back from break, ain’t need no other one.”

“Are you sure?” Arthur chirped, “You look like you could use a break _and_ some flirting while you’re at it.”

I turned to him, “You ain’t funny.”

“Just go on and git already, boy,” she said shoving me away from the counter.

“Aw come on, Cat, don’t encourage him,” I whined.

“Don’t you start arguing with me, Merlin,” she huffed and gave me a hard shove, almost making me fall.

I straightened up and glared at her, “Hmph,” I said and made my way around the counter, “I better not get into no shit with Gaius for this, Cat.”

“You know he’d let you be even if he knew, you take your job way too seriously for your own good.”

I turned back around and shrugged, “Gotta count your blessin’s, Cat. This job’s a blessin’, I ain’t gonna act a fool ‘bout it and lose it.”

She smiled, “You’re too wise for someone your age.”

I quirked a brow, “If you say so, Cat.”

“I do, you be back in a bit.”

“I will,” I said turning back to Arthur, “Might as well go out back, detective.”

“You can call me Arthur, you know?” he said following me as I started walking away.

“I’ll keep that in mind, detective,” I said turning into the employees only section and walking down the short corridor that led to the emergency exit out back and popping it open for him.

“Please tell you’re not planning on calling me that on our date,” he said shaking his head and following me out.

“I haven’t decided yet,” I shrugged, leaning against the wall, crossing my legs in front of myself.

“I guess that means I have some hope you won’t,” he sighed, leaning against the wall next to me, his shoulder brushing mine. I wasn’t entirely sure what got into me at that moment, but I shifted without thinking, pressing my shoulder firmly against his. He gave me soft smile, “I’m starting to get the feeling you’re warming up to me, Merlin.”

“Don’t push your luck, _Arthur_ ,” I huffed.

He turned his head to me, grinning, “I can’t help myself sometimes, I’m a cop, I push buttons for a living.”

“Well you ain’t gotta push mine all the time.”

“I won’t _all_ the time,” he agreed, “But one more time won’t break you.”

I arched a brow, “Excuse me?”

He smiled and leaned over, kissing me again. Hesitant, as if he knew I could scare away easily, and I was scared. I was terrified, because this couldn’t be normal. What he was making me feel, could not be normal. His lips were soft against mine, the roughness of his 5 o’clock shadow against the hand I placed on his cheek making this all the more real. I leaned closer to him, pressing my lips decisively against him, part of me knew I should end this, but he felt too good to stop. My actions must’ve given him the reassurance he needed, seeing as he quickly stepped in front of me and had me pressed between him and the wall, my head tilted up to him, my left hand moving to his chest as he nibbled on my lip. I groaned into his mouth, wrapped my right leg around his and ground myself against his hardness. He deepened the kiss one hand next to my head on the wall, the other gripping my ass, pushing himself further into me. His tongue fighting for dominance with mine, my body molding more and more into his. Everything was too much and not enough.

Then the door shot open with a bang and I shoved him away in surprise. Gaius, in all his smirky glory, stood there with his arms against his chest.

“Huh,” he said and I felt my face heat, looking down in shame.

“Hi, Boss,” I grumbled breathlessly.

“Merlin, I’ve been looking for you, Cat said you were on a break,” he said smoothly. Completely bypassing the awkwardness of the situation.

“Yup,” I nodded, “Now I’m not.”

“This behavior is inappropriate,” I cringed at his words, any prayer that I had that he’d just forget about it going out the window.

“Yes, sir,” I said quietly, keeping my eyes down.

“Especially for an assistant manager in training,” he continued.

I looked up in surprise, “But that’s-“

“Jobs been posted,” I watched as his eyes twinkled in mischief and his smirk turned into a full grin, “And if you don’t apply, I’m not going to be able to let this little thing go.”

“What? Wait,” I paused, bristling, “Are you blackmailing me into applying? That’s-“

“Called compromising,” he said interrupting me again, “I’ll expect an application in by the end of your shift today,” he looked at Arthur, “Have a nice day, officer,” turned back around and left.

“Is this a joke?” I questioned out loud, still entirely startled by what had just happened, I looked at Arthur and saw him struggling to hold in his laughter. I narrowed my eyes at him, “This shit ain’t funny, asshole.”

He just grinned at me, placed a kiss on my forehead and whispered, “I’ll see you Saturday,” then just left, still chuckling.

I banged my head against the wall before heading back in. Seriously, what the hell? I took one look at Catrina and just busted out laughing, “I am never taking your advice again.”

“What happened?” she asked.

“Nothin’,” I said between breaths, “I don’t even know.”

She picked up a pen and some papers from the counter, “Gaius dropped this off for you.” I took the application, shaking my head, “Of course, he did.”

“Well get on it! Lunch rush will be startin’ soon.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, scribbling down answers.

The rest of the day passed by like any normal day. I left work with Mordred, feeling even more guilty than usual with what had just happened earlier. There’s no way I could continue living with him for too long, but I didn’t have any options right now. Not until I went full time and I definitely, definitely had to break things off with Arthur, it had gone too far the way it is.

We ate, bullshitted, and then laid in bed together.

I twitched nervously when he inched near me and just watched me quietly for a few minutes.

“What?” I asked him.

“I was just wondering,” he whispered.

“Yeah?”

“You really don’t feel any attraction to me?”

“Mordred,” I sighed, “You and I wouldn’t work.”

“You keep saying that,” he shook his head, “But haven’t you noticed how it’s been since you moved in? We get along well, we laugh, play. You really don’t think there’s any chance we could try something?”

I turned away from him, “I’m not like you, Mordred. I’m not an open book, I don’t trust people, and I don’t do relationships.”

“Is that why you don’t think it would work? You don’t think that maybe it’s because we _are_ different that it could work? And don’t think I didn’t notice how you avoided the first question.”

“Why can’t you let it go?”

“Because I can’t just stop liking someone because I’m told to. Look at me, Merlin.”

I looked at him and sighed, “I just think you and I make better friends and I really ain’t lookin’ for nothin’ else, s’mores. I ain’t riskin’ what we got for somethin’ that might break us apart.”

He sighed and turned away from me, “Ok, Merlin. I’ll respect that.”

“Sorry, Mordred.”

“It’s fine,” he mumbled.

It took me hours to fall asleep after that. I was hurting him and I hated myself for it. Fuck, I needed to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... I really am on a roll today. I don't know if I've ever posted up four chapters for any story in one shot. Well... don't expect this all the time... Definitely cannot be expected of me.


	5. Chapter 5

Saturday was only three days away at that point. Three days that flew by in a flash, as Mordred got more and more fidgety the closer it got to it. I could tell he didn’t want me to go and I almost gave into that.

But then I thought about the many ways Arthur knew how to find me and I figured if I gave him the date first then blowing him off would be easier. Maybe.

Well, the important thing was, is that I had some semblance of a plan here.

I just had to follow through.

I threw on some jeans and clean plain black shirt. Glanced at the still yellowish bruises on my face, mostly faded, but still visible, better than the bruises under my shirt. My chest was a mess. My hair was a mess, but I never knew what to do with it anyway. Maybe I’d get a buzz cut soon and not worry about it. Cat always cut it for me whatever way she wanted it and I didn’t care so long as it was short enough to keep out of my eyes. I shrugged off whatever trepidation I had and walked out to see Mordred playing on his laptop, making sure to keep his eyes off of me.

“I don’t plan to be out too late,” I said.

“Mmm,” was his only answer. “Goodnight, Mordred,” I mumbled, stepping out of the place. I had already decided to wait for Arthur outside and it was only a few minutes before seven anyway. I stepped out of the building and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and letting whatever negative emotion I was having leave with the exhale. Not that it really worked, but it made me feel calmer.

I heard a low whistle to my front and allowed my eyes to chase the sound, seeing Arthur standing there with a dark blue button up shirt and pressed jeans.

“Hello,” I said quietly.

“Hi,” he smiled, “Just about to go in.”

“Mordred’s being moody, so I came down,” I shrugged.

“That’s your roommate?” he asked.

“Hopefully, not for too long,” I sighed, shaking my head, “Where we headin’?”

“You like pizza, right?”

“Anyone who doesn’t is a freak of nature,” I answered very seriously, then added lightly, “But I’m more in the mood for wings.”

He chuckled , “Well they serve both, come on.” We walked to his car and he opened the door for me. I rolled my eyes at the move but got in anyway and as soon as he sat down next to me I opened my mouth and said, “This ain’t gonna be like them Forensic Files show, right? I ain’t endin’ up in a ditch somewhere with my face carved off?”

He blinked at me, then locked the doors, “As if I’d tell you.”

I eyed the locked doors, “My first assessment of you is more accurate than I thought.”

He laughed, “Shut up, I don’t dice people up on the first date.”

“More like 3rd or 4th date kind of thing?”

“More like a 5th or 6th date kind of thing,” he answered.

“So what do you do on a 1st date?”

“Eat, talk, maybe kiss a bit more?”

“Sounds excitin’,” I looked out the window, “Where’s this pizza joint?”

“Have you been to Frank’s?”

“Not that I remember,” I answered, then leaned over to fidget with his radio.

“You’re not supposed to mess with a man’s radio,” he quirked.

“That rule doesn’t apply to first dates and you know it,” I shot back.

“When does it apply?”

“When you’re old and miserable,” I answered and looked at him, “How old are you?”

“Twenty-three,” he answered.

“You like ‘em young, huh?”

He scowled at me, “We’re only five years apart and age is just a number after you’re 18 anyway. What does it matter if I’m a little older than you if we like each other?”

“It don’t,” I answered and almost added, but technically I’m not 18 yet, and that’s another reason why I really need to put the stop on this, cause it’s borderline illegal and you’ll probably flip if you find out you’ve made out with a minor. Less than two months to go though, so really, it wasn’t _that_ bad and you seriously should’ve ID’ed me the second time we bumped into each other, so maybe it was kind of your fault, too, but hopefully after tonight I can drop you no problem or maybe I should have you drop me. If I act like dick, will you really want a second date anyway?

I’ve met plenty of jerk-offs I could probably pull it off. Now, what would an asshole say in this situation?

Ok, maybe thinking like asshole was harder for me than the next person, but I could figure it out.

“What kind of jank music do you listen to anyway?” I asked.

“How do you know it’s jank? I like jazz and rock,” he answered.

“Country’s where it’s at, son,” I answered. Another lie, I mean, I liked country all right, but not enough to listen to it on a regular basis. I was just trying to be obnoxious, and, no, I wasn’t entirely sure I was doing that right at this point.

He shrugged, “It’s not bad. We’re here anyway.”

I followed him out of the car, silently letting him lead the way. The place was nice, not uppity nice, but comfortable, toned with dark woods, and light blue walls covered in sports memorabilia. We followed the hostess to a booth. I ordered a lemonade and he ordered a soda.

I eyed the chicken wings and the prices. Nine dollars for a dozen wings felt too rich for my blood right now, but I was going to order them anyway. It was one date, I’d let myself splurge on the order, eat as much as I could and not spend any money unnecessarily for the next god knows how many years.

“Appetizer?”

“Huh? Uh,” I shrugged, “Up to you.”

“Fair enough. What do you like on your pizza?”

“Anything, but olives,” I made a face, “Hate olives.”

“Ok, what kind of wings are you getting?”

“Thinkin’ Cajun,” I answered and put my menu down and looked at him curiously.

“Got it,” he said as the waitress came back to drop off our drinks, “You two need a few minutes?”

“No, we’re ready,” he answered, then rattled off our order to her. She smiled and picked up the menus and left.

I let my eyes wander around the place, sighing at the thought of splitting half that bill. If I ended up spending more than twenty dollars on this date, I was going to be seriously annoyed. I needed that money, I was saving it and every little bit counted. I hadn’t even wanted to come. Why had I agreed to this? What the hell was I doing going on a date with a cop?

“What’s on your mind?” he asked, interrupting my thoughts.

“I’m wonderin’ what the hell I’m doin’ here,” I sighed.

“You’re still not convinced that going on a date with me might be a good thing?” he said skeptically, “Even after everything?”

“We kissed,” I frowned, “It was just a kiss. Not a bad kiss, but not exactly earth shattering. Could do without all of this,” I waved my hand around, “I ain’t no good at this shit. Ain’t tryina be either.”

I felt a pang of guilt about the kiss comment, because… well it had been a little earth shattering for me. In fact, that was a good descriptor of it, seeing as it made me feel like I was coming apart and that was… scary as all hell.

“You’re full of it,” he answered calmly, “You’re just looking for an excuse to run away from something that could be good.”

I turned to him, “Don’t be talkin’ like you know me. You ain’t know shit about me.”

“You’re right, I don’t know you that well, but I want to and so far, what I do know I like. You’re funny, you’re smart, hard-working, and despite your I-don’t-need-nobody attitude you care a lot about the people in your life. I can tell you’re trying to make things better for yourself, and I like that,” he sighed, “What I don’t like is how little confidence you have in yourself and how hard you’re trying to push me away right now. Thankfully, I’m extremely stubborn myself.”

I bit my lip and shook my head, “You ain’t know nothin’.”

“What is it that I don’t know? What is it that you seem to think I won’t like?”

“Everything,” I looked in his eyes, “There ain’t nothin’ you’ll like and there ain’t nothin’ I’ll like about you. Can’t we just end this and go?”

“You’re making big assumptions for someone who doesn’t even know me,” he reached for my hand, placing his over it, “I can’t say I know what you’ve been through, because you haven’t told me, but you can’t use it as a reason to stall your own life. Now, let’s put a pin on this conversation and talk about something more first date like. Tell me about your roommate.”

I sighed, staring at the table in defeat, “Mordred’s a nice guy. Goin’ to school and shit. Talks a lot.”

“Then why do you want to move out so soon? I mean other than the space thing.”

I frowned, “I don’t think you want to know the answer to that.”

“He likes you? More than a friend?”

I looked back up to him and bit my lip, “Yeah, but I turned ‘em down and he can’t let it go, living together is makin’ it worse. I ain’t wanna do him like that. He’s a friend. I’m stuck though, for now. Freakin’ rent prices and the whole can’t go on interviews because I look like I’ve participated in a fight club recently ain’t helpin’ me none.”

“But your boss is making you assistant manager, isn’t he?”

“That ain’t a given and I should be able to pick up more hours by then, but it’s not enough right now to move. I barely make above minimal wage and, yeah, _if_ I get the position I’ll earn a bit more.”

“And any offer of mine to help will be swiftly turned down, right?”

“Yup.”

“Figured.”

“Where do you live?”

His lips quirked, “Why? You wanna keep tabs on me now?”

“More like I wanna know what street to avoid when apartment huntin’,” I answered.

He snickered, “You know where Ricci’s pizza’s at?”

“Yeah?”

“I live directly across the street.”

“I think I know someone who lives near there,” I said thoughtfully, “Antoine, I think.”

“Is he the one that throws those crazy parties?” he eyed me.

“Yeah, he’s cool.”

“If you say so, pretty sure he hates me for breaking them up.”

I shrugged, “You do you, ain’t gotta worry about that petty shit.”

He smiled, “Yeah, guess you’re right.”

I looked at the hand still on mine, watched as he rubbed circles on my mine with his thumb. I held still for a few moments enjoying the feeling, but then pulled it away. I started looking around the place for the best exit. Maybe I should just leave?

“So are you going to school, Merlin?”

“No.”

“Any hobbies?”

“No. Are you interrogatin’ me?”

“No, I’m _trying_ to get to know you.”

“Why?”

“Merlin,” he sighed, “I don’t want to go around in circles with you and I already answered that question.”

“Did you?” I asked taking a sip of my drink.

“Yes.”

I looked at him again and saw him watching me. I shifted my eyes away from his and asked, “What about you, any hobbies?”

“I collect guns.”

I made a face, “Seriously?”

“Yes,” he nodded, “I also like going to concerts.”

“And going to bars ‘till 3 in the mornin’?”

“I was off duty, so yes, I went to have a drink,” he answered smoothly.

“How long have you been a cop?”

“I was in the army for a short while. Got my associates through them and then went to the police academy. I was able to work my way up pretty quickly to detective in robbery and I’m taking online classes to get my bachelors.”

“You were in the army?”

“Yes.”

“But not anymore?”

“I had a bad injury.”

I eyed him down, “You don’t look injured.”

He shrugged, “Well it happened years ago.”

“And you were well enough to be a cop but not a soldier?”

“Is that a problem?”

“Just odd is all.”

“Believe me if I could have stayed with them I would.”

I opened my mouth to say more but was interrupted when the waitress returned with our meal. She laid out the food and smiled to us both, “Can I get you two anything else?”

“We’re good for now. Thank you,” Arthur answered.

I waited until she left before continuing, “You haven’t lived here too long,” I stated.

He arched his brow, “No, I haven’t. How’d you know?”

“Lots of cops come to that store. ‘Cause we’re so close to their station and I ain’t ever seen you or your partner show up before. Neither had Cat and she’s worked there forever.”

“We both transferred pretty recently. About four months ago. You’re very astute, Merlin.”

“And they partnered you both up?”

“Not quite, we’re working on a case together, so we happen to be driving in the same car.”

“You’re not partners?”

“My unit works more like a team of people. He happens to be a part of that team. So not exactly my direct partner but we do work together frequently.”

“And the both of you work on robberies?”

“Yes.”

I shifted and looked around, “I’m having a hard time believing you.”

“What part exactly?”

“All of it.”

He leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, “Why?”

“Because it doesn’t mesh. You’re 23 and already a detective? I think I read somewhere you have to be 21 just to _be_ a cop.”

“I have connections and my time in the military helped. Plus, it’s a recent promotion.”

“Connections?”

“Yes.”

“What kind?”

“I’ll tell you if you agree to a fifth date.”

“Fifth? We ain’t even finished this one!”

He smiled, “I’ve a really good feeling about you, Merlin. So why not get you to agree to a few other dates?”

“No way.”

“Then as you would put it, I ain’t sayin’ jack.”

I scowled at him and put several chicken wings on my plate, “You’re ridiculous.”

He leaned forward and winked, “Ridiculous for you.”

I gave him a dumbfounded look and watched him as he chuckled and picked up a slice of pizza taking a bite from it.

I shook my head, “What _planet_ are you even from?”

“Earth,” he answered.

“Great. A comedian,” I rolled my eyes at him and began eating.

“Now you know a bit about me, how about you tell me about yourself? How’d you end up with that eye anyway?”

“I walked into a door.”

“Not planning on giving me an honest answer?”

“Bad luck?”

“Or even a real answer?”

“I ain’t gonna talk so drop it.”

“Ex-boyfriend do it?”

“What? No!”

“Family member then?”

I stood up, grabbing my napkin to wipe my hands, “I’m leaving,” but he reached out and grabbed my hand, “I’ll stop. So just stay.”

“Really? You’re going to stop?”

“I just want to know that it’s not going to happen again. That’s all.”

I jerked my hand from his and sat down, “It ain’t. I ain’t goin’ back.”

He tilted his head, “So that’s why you were wondering around that night? Because it happened where you used to live?”

I frowned and crossed my arms, saying nothing.

He held his hands up, “Just reassure me that whoever did it can’t get to you anymore, ok? He or she can’t find you?”

“They don’t know where I am or care.”

“They? More than one?”

“Arthur,” I said his name in warning.

“Sorry, I’ll stop.”

I looked away and sighed, “I can survive a bruise or two. It’s supposed to be over, yeah? You continuing to bring that shit up ain’t helpin’ any.”

“Ok. If anything happens again will you at least call me?”

“Only if you let it the fuck go already.”

“Fine. I will.”

I brought my eyes up to his and frowned. I didn’t believe _that_ either, but I guessed it was all I was going to get so I nodded quietly.

“Eat, please? We can’t have this food go to waste.”

I looked at the food, but found myself without an appetite, “Not really hungry.”

He looked at the food and nodded, waving his hand to the waitress. She came over quickly, “Everything ok?”

“It’s just fine, mind if get take out boxes and the check? Seems we’re going to have to leave early tonight.”

“Oh,” she said in surprise, “Of course. I’ll get that to you right away, Arthur.”

“She knows you by name?”

“I’ve been here a few times.”

“I see,” I quipped, “So you bring people on dates here often?”

He arched a brow, “Jealous there, Merlin?”

“More like perturbed that I agreed to go on a date with a philanderer.”

“I’ve come here a few times with Percival and a couple of other officers on my team, actually,” He tilted his head, “You know, I find it odd that at times you use a lot of slang and at other times you sound so well spoken. Why is that, Merlin?”

I stood up, “This date is _over_ , detective _,_ and if you contact me again I’ll file a complaint of harassment against you. Your connections might’ve gotten you your job, but I’d like to see if they’ll help you keep it when someone like me pops up and tells them you’ve been practically stalking me,” I said as I began to walk out the door.

“Stalking?” he said following me, “You and I bumped into each other by _accident_.”

“It wasn’t by no accident that you came to my apartment.”

“Are you really that intent in keeping your secrets that you’d discredit me as a police officer?”

“I’ll do what I have to, to protect myself. I have every right to do so,” I said getting out of the restaurant and starting my way back home.

He grabbed me by my arm whirled me around, “I don’t understand you. In fact, I don’t think you understand yourself. I’ve been honest with you from the start. I’ve given you no reason not to trust me, so why do you insist on pushing me away?”

I spoke slowly, “It’s odd that you have such a high interest me. Most people would have cut their losses and moved on by now and you may not have given me a reason to distrust you yet, but if I let you, I’m certain it will come. Why would you bother? Better yet, why should I?” I moved away from him, “Whatever you may think of me, doesn’t matter. Whatever you may think this is, doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, I would much rather be left alone. I don’t need nor want you in my life. So get the hint already and _fuck off_.”

He looked away from me and sighed, “Is it that strange to you?”

“What?”

“Is it that strange to you just have someone like you? Not want anything and not want to hurt you? Is it that odd that I think you’re interesting? That I want to get to know you? You keep asking me why, like it’s some complicated impossible thing, but it happens everyday to other people. Other people meet and go on dates and like each other, so why can’t it happen between you and I?”

“Because people _don’t_ like me.”

“Why? You just told me your roommate likes you.”

“Because he’s confused.”

“I think _you’re_ the one who’s confused. It’s ok to like people and it’s ok for people to like you.”

“How could anyone like me?!” I snapped, “Look at me! I’m nothing! I’ve always been nothing! I…” I trailed off, tears suddenly coming down my cheeks, “My own mother…” I closed my eyes wrapping my arms around myself, before I felt his hands on my back, pressing me into his chest.

“You’re wrong,” he whispered, “You’re very, very wrong.”

I shook my head into his chest, “I can prove it,” he continued, “If you give me a chance, I can prove it to you. All you have to do is let me.”

“I don’t know,” I whispered.

He placed a kiss on my head, “I won’t make you, but just think about it and let me check on you regardless. For my own peace of mind, please.”

I took a deep breath, but all it did was make smell him more. Fucker smelled like fresh spring rain. You know the kind that just makes you want to throw your hands out and stick your tongue out? I mentally slapped myself at the thought and pulled away from him, “Ok, but no more showing up at my apartment unannounced.”

“Deal,” he smiled, wiping my tears with his thumb, “I’ll call now that I have your number.”

I rolled my eyes at him and bit my lip as I said, “And I reserve the right to take as much time as I want about the other thing.”

“The dating me thing?”

“Yeah,” I looked away, “That.”

He nodded and smiled, “I get the feeling you’re worth the wait.”

“Now, I’m going to go in and see if Marly saved the food.”

I gasped, “We didn’t pay.”

He laughed, “Don’t be silly. I left enough on the table to pay the bill. Mmm, just wait here, ok? I’ll take you home or we can go somewhere else to eat if you want.”

“Home sounds good.”

A look of disappointment flashed on his face before he nodded calmly, “I figured as much.”

I watched him walk away and just stood there. Taking slow breaths and trying to re-stabilize after my mini melt down. Was what he said true? Could I be wrong? It didn’t feel like I was. I bit my lip and sighed. I knew my mind was warped. Years of constantly being put down did that to people, but did I actually have a chance at being semi normal? Could someone like Mordred and Arthur really like someone like me?

I didn’t know.

How could I know?

All this time, I’ve been less than. How could I suddenly believe I was more?

Or maybe Arthur was just lying to me. But if he was, what could he possibly get out of it? I didn’t have anything to offer anyone. I was just a dumb broken kid. What could he see in me that I couldn’t?

Arthur came back out with the food and waved me over, “Thanks to Marly, the food was saved.”

“How much was it? I’ll pay you back.”

“Merlin, I asked you out, of course, I’m going to pay and don’t even try to argue with me. It’s done, now come on, let’s go to the car.”

I grumbled as I followed him to the car and silently settled in on the passenger side, taking the food when he handed it to me.

“You know, you’re the only person I’ve ever had in my car that hasn’t complemented me on it,” he said thoughtfully.

I looked around in my seat, “Is there something special about it? I mean it’s clean and shiny.”

He gaped at me from his seat, “It’s a 1966 Shelby GT350! How could you not recognize?!”

“Oh,” I shrugged, “It’s nice.”

“Pft,” he shook his head, “Figures I end up liking the one person in the universe who doesn’t care about cars.”

“Sorry?”

He laughed, “It’s alright, maybe if you want I can teach you about them some time. Maybe I’ll even let you drive it,” he said waggling his eyebrows.

“I don’t have a license.”

“What?”

“I don’t have a license.”

“Why?”

“I don’t have a car so what’s the point? Sides I’ve never driven before.”

“What?!” he turned to me in his seat, “Like at all?”

“That’s right,” I nodded.

He took a deep breath, “Well we are going to fix that. We are definitely fixing that.”

He turned the car on and pulled us out of the lot, “Not with this car, though. We can use my other one.”

“You have more than one car?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I don’t drive this one regularly. I mean could you imagine pulling up to a suspect’s house in this thing? I can’t be chasing robbers if I’m in constant fear that someone will rob me at the same time.”

“I think that’s the one thing you’ve said all night that makes sense to me.”

He snnorted, “Glad I’m finally getting through to you on _something_ ,” he pulled up to the apartment and smiled, “Listen take the food with you. It’s too much for me to eat on my own and have way more than enough food at my own place. Don’t be stubborn about it.”

I fidgeted and nodded, “Whatever.” I think I’d agree to just about anything to end the date at this point. Never mind, trying to be an asshole. I’m sure he thought I was mentally unstable by now.

I pulled myself out of the car, told him to have a goodnight and hurried inside. I practically ran up the steps and stopped at the door, hesitating to go in. Mordred was in there and if he was still being Mr. Woe-Is-Me then I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with that right now, but my hands were currently filled with food. Sucking it up, I kicked at the door, hoping he was still in.

In a moment, it whipped open, “You’re back!”

“Yeah, with food.”

He stepped aside and let me in. “That was a really short date.”

I placed the food on the table and looked at him, “What time is it?”

“8:15, you were gone for 75 minutes.”

“Huh,” I nodded, “Didn’t think I’d been gone for that long.”

He grinned, “I guess you meant it when you said you were blowing the guy off.”

“Uh yeah,” I nodded.

“That guy was probably a total jerk off.”

I shook my head, “No, I mean I don’t think so. He seemed kind of nice. Weird, but nice.”

“He’s some weirdo, then?” Mordred nodded, “At least he let you keep the food, though.”

“That’s not what I…,” I turned to look at Mordred, “Never mind. It doesn’t matter, he’ll definitely be leaving me alone after tonight anyway.”

“Ok. Anything good in there?”

“Should be pizza and wings. Hungry?”

“Yes!”

“Grab a couple of plates, s’mores. Tonight, we eat like kings!”

He laughed, “And tomorrow, back to ramen noodles and pb&j?

“You got it.”

He snickered, “Awesome.”

Mordred and I ate while throwing wild jokes around. A small comfort after what felt like a roller coaster ride of a date. Being with Mordred was easy. Being with Arthur was like living through an earthquake. Sure, you were happy you survived, but was the mess of the outcome worth it? Wouldn’t it be better to live in a place that didn’t have earthquakes all together? Wouldn’t it be better to live without the fear of one ever happening at all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name was inspired by PeaceHeather's suggestion. I think it fits. So thank you, PeaceHeather.
> 
> I keep changing the summary. I can't settle on something good that works. *Le sigh*  
> ... Please let me know what you think so far...


	6. Chapter 6

**Arthur’s POV**

I drove back home that night, after dropping off Merlin, with my chest tight. I hadn’t expected for him to get so emotional, but I probably should’ve. The kid had clear signs of abuse and despite his seemingly nice friends at that convenience store, it was doubtful that anyone was ever able to break through his walls and show him kindness.

I got a spark of guilt at the thought. I mean I was technically trying to rope him into my own bullshit, which wasn’t fair, but we connected. I knew from the first second I saw him, and I had a mission to complete here; I needed him to do it. It had to be him. I never connected with any other potential handler. Besides, I couldn’t keep going the way I was. Without a proper handler I could die while hunting and the others were obviously not doing it for me. I couldn’t connect to them. I could barely even feel them through the unstable platonic connections I made, never mind hearing them properly when they tried talking to me. Too many close calls, when they couldn’t reel me back in and it was getting worse the older I got, but this kid. He was the answer. I felt it. I _saw_ it.

Besides that, it might be good for him. Even now, he was as aimless as the first night I met him. Maybe having a goal like mine could give him some confidence. Of course, maybe my line of work could destroy him. I’d seen it happen before. Weak minds had a tendency to break under pressure. Merlin wasn’t weak though, because despite the abuse he’d been through, he was still functioning and maybe he didn’t think much of himself right now, but he had the tenacity and wisdom of people far above his age. He had skills I didn’t generally see on people his age, either. I threw him off, so he broke that fake accent of his, but before tonight I wouldn’t have doubted for a second he was some country kid being raised in the city. Why he did it was a mystery, but with some proper training I was sure he could learn to keep it on even when he was thrown off kilter. Plus, he was smart and intuitive. He had potential and we had a connection. That was more than I’d ever found in the months I’ve lived here.

I pulled into the parking garage at my building. Half the lots around were broken down shit holes, and the other half were as ritzy as mine. Right across Ricci’s as I told him, was the building I lived in. Fifth floor luxury loft. Only the best for the son of the head of the S.H. division of the military, I scoffed at myself as I stepped out of my car and headed to the elevator. Uther Pendragon’s son got all the spoils _and_ all the stress of living up to the old man. Lovely.

The Supernatural Hunting division had been a part of my life since before I could talk. _My_ father had been the best and now _I_ was expected to somehow be better, but unlike my father I hadn’t been able to successfully find a handler by the time I was 20 and no matter what I did, how much shit I hunted, there was absolutely no way I could catch up to him. Even though I was a better weapon wielder and had higher combat ratings than Uther, it wasn’t enough. My father told me that the world expected me to lead and fight and I couldn’t accomplish that without a proper handler of my own. Like somehow it was my own fault I hadn’t been able to find one.

The other handlers were just not compatible, it wasn’t _my_ fault the military had failed to recruit someone that could link to me properly and now, instead of hunting, I had to step away to find my own handler and attempt to recruit that person to join me. I also had to succeed. I could _not_ fail. No matter what. Which meant, that if I had to seduce the fuck out of Merlin to get him to agree to be my handler, then so be it. I had to do, what I had to do. The end would justify the means, right?

Thousands of lives were dependent on me getting back to hunting.

I scanned my security card and pressed the button to go to the lobby right after.

Merlin Wells. The kid was fucking impossible. I was being the perfect charming guy and he still _insisted_ on pushing me away. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip at the thought of him. I didn’t lie when I called him cute. He was cute. _Too_ cute and the way he acted made me want to push his buttons a bit. Now what did _that_ say about me?

I made a face as I walked through the lobby, waving at the security guards manning the front desk, and into another elevator I went. Up to my loft, which was too big and not big enough. Something only someone sharing a space with Percival could understand. My so called “guard” a.k.a. my appointed nanny. In a different world, he and I could probably have been friends, in this one though? He was just an unneeded pain in my ass. Insisting on constantly reminding me that time was in fact ticking and that my dad wanted results three months ago. I was oh so clearly behind on my assignment, but sight or no sight, finding someone compatible wasn’t as simply as throwing a rock off the building. Trust me, if this whole experience had taught me anything was that **_nothing_** that, should be simple, ever was.

The elevator opened right to my loft and I instantly cringed when I spotted Percival on the couch. Beer in hand, “Kind of early to end a date, don’t you think?”

“Shut up,” I sneered, walking to the fridge for a cold one myself.

He stood up and glared at me, “You do realize that I report directly to Uther, don’t you? What the hell is he going to think when I write up a report about how his son likes to go on dates with underage kids?!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, seriously?” I whipped around to him and glowered, “You don’t know what you’re even talking about!”

 “You think because you’re his son that you can just throw your time away?! Act like some frivolous spoiled little brat?!”

“Are you _that_ clueless?” I snarked, “That _kid_ is the mission. _He’s_ compatible. Why the fuck do you think I’d waste my time with him?!”

Percival blanched at my words, “What? He’s not even 18! Not even military!”

“Isn’t that the point of sending me out here?! To find somebody, _anybody,_ compatible?! _He_ is! And I’m working him, just like I’m supposed to, so shut the fuck up!”

Percival stood wordlessly for a moment, allowing me to crack open my beer and take a hard swallow before he could respond with, “But he’s not even 18.”

“He will be in a couple of weeks and he’s goalless. We’d be giving him something to live for. Win-win, right?”

Percival shook his head, “How low exactly can you go?”

“What else am I supposed to do? He’s the first one I’ve met even remotely compatible! I have to at least try!”

“Fuck,” he said before turning away from me, “Fuck!”

“You’re tellin’ me,” I answered. Fuck indeed. I groaned and grabbed the glasses off my face throwing them onto the counter, “Believe me, this is not a road I want to go down, but what else can I do? It’s either him or no-one.”

Percival threw himself onto the couch and I grabbed him and myself another beer, before I followed.

“You’ve found no-one else?”

“In the four months, scouring this city? No, I haven’t.”

“Fuck. He’s a kid,” he repeated, “An abused one, no less. What the fuck? What kind of defective hunter are you?”

“I’ve been wondering that myself,” I nodded solemnly.

“Why him?”

“I don’t know,” I groaned, “But it’s him. It has to be. I feel it.”

“Man, your life sucks.”

Well, maybe hard ass Percival wasn’t as bad as I thought he was.

“Tell me about it,” I answered, clinking my beer to his and chugging it down like water, because at this point, what the hell else could I do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Truckin' got my chips cashed in. Keep truckin', like the do-dah man  
> Together, more or less in line, just keep truckin' on.  
> Arrows of neon and flashing marquees out on Main Street.  
> Chicago, New York, Detroit and it's all on the same street.  
> Your typical city involved in a typical daydream  
> Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings."
> 
> Grateful Dead - Truckin'


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up the next morning with a massive hang-over. Having stayed up all night with Percival drinking, hoping for clarity, but only feeling myself falling further into the bullshit hole I had created for myself. Lovely.

I rolled off the bed and stumbled onto the floor. I let out a groan and picked myself back up. Another few uncoordinated steps and I made it into my bathroom. I turned the cool water on and stripped myself down. Rubbing the contacts out of my eyes. I’d forgotten to take them off last night and the damn things were uncomfortable to wear. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled.

Seriously, what was with that kid? Even with the contacts and the glasses, I was hot. Was he incapable of seeing that? Wouldn’t most people would jump at the chance to have someone like me take a liking to them?

Maybe _he_ was the one that needed glasses.

I shook my head and stepped into the shower. Turning the cool water on and letting the cold spray hit me and relax my muscles. I was wound up way too tight lately.

I washed myself slowly letting the soap caress my skin, watching it run over the scars, smiling at the memories they brought me. I lived for the hunt. For the fight. The rush of adrenaline as I let everything that makes me a hunter take control. All my senses heightened, the power coursing through my veins. Nothing but me against death itself and I never lost.  Now, _that_ was simple.

Finding a handler in this city? Fucking impossible. Well, until Merlin that is.

And getting Merlin to agree to it? How the hell was I going to handle that? I turned off the water and stepped back out drying myself off quickly and getting myself dressed. I left my room to go downstairs for some kind of food. That is something I could say about this whole thing; the food was thirty times better than what I usually got out in the field.

I frowned when Percival came into view, looking a lot better than I felt right now. He didn’t bother to look up, but I found Tylenol and a bottle of Gatorade on the counter, waiting for me. Guess the guy could be nice when he wanted to be. I grabbed at the pills and drank the Gatorade down in seconds, before digging through my fridge for sustenance. I started making myself breakfast. Eggs, sausage, bacon.

“I was thinking,” Percival said interrupting my thoughts. I looked at him sitting by the counter, looking through a file, not exactly an unusual sight, “You mean you actually think for yourself every once in a while?”

“You better watch it, Pendragon,” he snapped at me, “You think I _want_ to be here? I’m a soldier for fuck’s sake. I have better things to than to play your babysitter.”

“Like what exactly? Thought you liked being at my father’s beck and call.” Percival was, at long end, one of my father’s guys, not mine. He followed orders, stayed inside the line that was created for him, but me? I took risks. I knew my father’s words weren’t the end all. But then, Percival wasn’t a hunter. He didn’t see what we saw. Didn’t see the darkness at the edges of the world bubbling out, intent on destruction. Didn’t see how the shadows moved and fed on the weak willed. How could I always play by the rules, when they never did?

“You don’t know a damn thing, Pendragon. You’re just like every other hunter, lost in your mission, never seeing the bigger picture,” he scowled, “You think you’re doing the world some great good? You ever bother to see the devastation left behind after one of your hunts? Who do you think cleans your fucking messes up? The recon unit does. _My_ unit. We don’t just gather your intel, we clean up your fuck ups, too, and without a handler you keep creating a bigger and bigger mess. I agreed to come here to try and fucking stop your bull shit stunts.”

“My ‘bull shit stunts’ save people, asshole,” I growled back.

“Yeah, in the process of destroying everything else around you.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you! You can’t control yourself anymore, so fucking suck it up and face it, dickhead. You need to stop being the only voice in your head!”

“Don’t you think I fucking know that?!” I shouted, “I fucking know! Believe me, I know!”

I panted and turned around. Paying attention to my food yet again. Fuck this guy already.

We both stayed silent for a long time before he started again, “I’m _trying_ to help you, Arthur. I’m not against you here.”

“Don’t pretend that reporting to my father isn’t the only thing you’re worried about.”

“Didn’t you hear what I said earlier? I chose this mission, Arthur. I could have said no, but I chose to come.”

I filled a plate with food and put it on the counter, grabbing myself some orange juice before making my way to the other side. I rubbed my face before turning to him, “Why? Why would you agree when you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you, idiot. I agreed because I’ve seen you hunt,” he made a face, “Your skills are unmatched. You move with the wind, not against it. I came because I believe that if there is anyone out there that can make the world safe it’s you. I came because I believe in you, so whether you like me or not, I’m here and I’m going to be here until you find your handler and we can both get back out there.”

I was startled by his words. Believe in me? Make the world safer? Really? I could sense no lies from him right now, “I don’t know what to say,” was my only response.

“Don’t say anything. Just start working with me. We’re a team, not enemies.”

I leaned back on my chair and contemplated his words and nodded, “Yeah, ok.”

“So are you ready to listen to what I have to say now?”

I nodded quietly, and he smiled, “Glad to see I’m finally getting through to you.”

I snorted, “We’ll see.”

“Yeah, I guess we will see,” he agreed, “Now, did you actually read the background check you pulled on this kid or not?”

I quirked a brow, “He has no criminal record.”

“Not that part, idiot,” he held a paper toward me, and pointed to spot on the page. I took the file from him and asked, “He received a delayed birth certificate? So what? It’s not illegal.”

“And it wouldn’t be odd if we lived off in the woods somewhere, but we don’t. We live in a city with plenty of hospitals and any doctors or nurses would’ve gotten his mother that paperwork, almost as soon as he was out of the womb. Don’t you find that weird?”

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that maybe Merlin and his so-called mother, don’t quite look related.”

I flipped the file over and looked at the picture of Merlin’s mother we had on file and studied it, “Different eyes and face structure,” I agreed, “But maybe he just looks like his father.”

“That’s another thing. No father is listed in that certificate either.”

“That’s not unusual, Percival.”

“No, but if you put them together it’s kind of odd,” he snatched the file back, “And his mother might be a piece of work, but she isn’t smart enough to give birth to a kid on her own.”

I gave Percival a look, “And you think she what? Kidnapped Merlin?”

“No,” he sighed, “I don’t know what to think, but I also don’t think that getting a DNA test wouldn’t be uncalled for.”

“For what? Why would we bother?”

“Fuck, you really are stupid,” Percival sneered, “The kid was abused, Pendragon. Don’t you think he might feel a little better about the whole thing if he finds out it wasn’t his own mother who did it?”

I shook my head, “No, this is a bad idea.”

“How is it a bad idea?”

“Because if it is true, which is unlikely, then who is his real mother? And how did he end up being raised by some abusive quack? Or what if his real mother is worse? Some junkie who left her kid in a trash bin to die? No way, we are not pursuing this.”

“Or maybe his mother is some poor lady out there crying every day because she hasn’t seen her own kid for almost 18 years!”

“And how would that help? Do you honestly believe that if he found out he has a mother out there that he’ll agree to stay with me? It’s better if he believes he has no ties.”

Percival stood up abruptly allowing his chair to crash onto the floor, “You’re as fucking sick as that bitch mother of his,” he snarled before bolting out of the place like he was on fire.

I picked up Merlin’s picture from the file and frowned. Percival was right, of course, if it turned out to be true I’d have to tell Merlin and, in doing so, I could lose him all together. It’s not something I’d be able to keep a secret. That’s why it was better to not look into it at all.

A flash of the first moment I bumped into Merlin came into my head. Those bruises, the way he acted, the pain on his face. Learning that his mother wasn’t the woman who raised him might go a long way to heal those wounds, but what if his real mother was worse? I rubbed my temple and called Percival.

He picked up with a snarled, “What?”

“Get the mother’s DNA sample. I’ll work on getting Merlin’s, but listen to me, Percival, before we share any of this, if it does turn out to be true, then we have to find out who his birth mother is and what the fuck happened that lead to this before we tell him a damn thing. You hear me? Don’t go getting all high and mighty and giving the kid hope before we have all the facts, alright?”

Percival’s voice was lighter when he answered, “Fine,” and hung up.

Merlin was making life far more complicated than it had to be. Just figures that the only compatible handler I found was some type of fucked up.

I stood up and went to my room to put on fresh contacts and grab by badge and gun. I’d have to give the kid a few days before I approached him again. Treat him like a scared animal and do everything in slow motion. It was a hassle, but if it turned out the way I wanted then it would all be worth it in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it... Arthur is a phony! T_T


	8. Chapter 8

**Merlin’s POV**

It was rainy today and slow at the store. Catrina was in the back, checking stock while I sat at the stool by the register. My notebook out as I scribbled away. It had been days since I’d seen the detective and I assumed that he really had lost interest. I guess all those pretty words he used were just that. Words.

I didn’t mind though, not really, I mean yeah those kisses we shared were something else, but so what if the guy was a good kisser? And a sweet talker? It didn’t mean anything. It didn’t change the fact that I was what I was. I sighed and looked at the poem I was working on:

**It’s always like this**

**No matter how much I wish**

**I’m still lost in this abyss**

**In this earth,**

**I’m the alien**

**Since my birth**

**I can only see radiation**

**In this pathetic mess**

**I’ve never belonged**

**I feel like an abscess**

**I cannot sleep under your scorching sun**

**I cannot walk under the bleeding stars**

Dark. It was dark like almost all the other ones I’d written. I scrunched up my face and tossed the book off the counter in frustration, just as a customer came in.

“Sorry,” was my immediate response as I looked up. My eyes settling on the brown ones I had, unknowingly, began searching out wherever I went, “Oh,” I mumbled.

Arthur bent down to pick up the notebook and I instantly went defensive as he began to flip the pages through it, “Hey! Don’t look at that! It’s mine!”

“You threw it at me,” he answered settling on the last entry. I cringed, “Just give it back.”

“I’m reading,” he mumbled.

“Arthur!”

He looked up from the page and smiled, “It’s good. You have a way with words,” he took the few short steps to the counter and handed it back.

“Thanks,” I grumbled, snatching it from his hand, “No, Percival today?”

“He’s busy,” he answered, “How are you?”

“I’m doing ok,” I shrugged. Not really knowing what to say now that the man that had been clouding my dreams was standing right in front of me.

He nodded, “So when’s your next day off?”

I quirked a brow, “What?”

“You never said we couldn’t be friends,” He explained, “So I decided we should be friends and, maybe, that’ll make you more comfortable with the whole dating thing and since friends spend time with each other, I thought maybe we could do just that.”

“ _You_ decided?”

“Yes.”

“For the both of us?”

“Yup,” he said popping the “p” and grinning.

I narrowed my eyes at him, “And what makes you think I want to be friends with someone like you?”

He placed his elbows on the counter and leaned towards me, his eyes landing on my lips, “I could think of a couple of reasons.”

I felt my face heat up and I looked away, mumbling, “I think you’re the one who has a way with words.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw him lean across the counter, his lips next to my ear, “Don’t push me away, Merlin. You and I met for a reason. What’s wrong with exploring that?”

I shivered and shrugged away from him, “Why are you so pushy?”

He stood up straight, “Going after something you want is not pushy.”

“Something you want?”

He arched a brow, “A relationship with you. I feel a connection with you,” he sighed and looked away, “To be honest with you, that’s rare for me. I tend to keep people at a distance, but when I’m around you I feel like I can relax.”

“Why?”

He studied my face for a moment, before smiling, “I promise to tell you if you tell me when your next day off is.”

I scowled, “Thursday.”

“Thursday?” He looked pensive before continuing, “I can do Thursday,” he leaned back off the counter and walked over to the coolers for a turkey sub and a sprite, “Pick you up say 1 o’clock?”

“You haven’t answered my question,” I said.

He smirked as he placed the items on counter, “I’ll answer you on Thursday. Is 1 good for you?”

I started scanning the items, “I’ll think about it. That’s $6.95.”

He frowned, “Why can’t you decide now?”, handing me the money.

“Why can’t _you_ tell me now?” I took it and handed him his change, placing the items in the bag.

“Because then you wouldn’t have a reason to say yes to Thursday.”

“I thought friends didn’t need a reason to see each other.”

“I thought you didn’t see me as a friend.”

“I don’t.”

“Then, knowing what I know about you, I need to give you a good excuse to show up.”

“What was your excuse the last time?”

He arched a brow and glanced at my lips again, “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

I blushed, “Shut it.”

“So Thursday?”

“Fine,” I scoffed, “But we’re going where _I_ want to go and it’s only as friends.”

He smirked, “Deal.”

“Make sure you leave your badge at home, officer.”

“Planning on it,” he picked up his food, “But I might still bring the handcuffs,” he added with a wink, before disappearing out the door.

I scowled, my cheeks reddening even further. What was I going to do with this guy? Then I thought about our conversation and cursed myself. Did I seriously just agree to go on another date with him? Shit. I was so grateful Mordred was in school right now. I could kick myself. I bit my lip. I just won’t show up. That’s all, no biggie.

Except, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about Arthur’s face when he said he didn’t really connect with others. I was the same way. Keeping people at a distance was something I did on a constant basis. Could I really talk myself into just not showing up when he looked at me like that? I could hear the sincerity in his voice. Could feel it in the pit of my stomach.

Ugh, why was he always making me feel things?

When he looked at me, I _felt_ it. I felt his eyes on me like a soft caress on my skin. I could feel myself desperate to reach out to respond. When he spoke, I felt like the only one in the room. His voice was inviting, I couldn’t help but answer. The man was poetry in motion and he awoke something in me, I hadn’t even known was there. He was dangerous. Exciting. Warm.

Was this even normal?

I frowned at myself, feeling a bubble of something I had to tamper down. I was being ridiculous. Arthur and I was something that could never happen. Even if I _was_ eighteen, there were things about me that I could never tell him. I wasn’t just a normal kid. I was abnormal and raw and broken; how could I ever share that with anyone? How could I let anybody see who I really was?

The answer was obvious, I couldn’t. I couldn’t ever tell anyone the truth. I had to keep up the lie. I had to perfect the lie and spread it.

But could I do that to Arthur? Could I just not show up?

Wouldn’t showing up hurt Mordred?

Could I do that to Mordred?

Arthur did say it would only be as friends. Maybe if I could find a way to cement that, it could work out, right? No kissing, no relationship, just friends. Then maybe, Arthur would move on.

The pang I felt in my chest at the thought was outright debilitating.

I shook myself off and focused on my work. I had a full shift today, I needed to make sure I did my job and stopped thinking about Arthur

* * *

 

 

After work, I immediately pulled out my phone and called a friend of mine. I hadn’t spoken to her in a while, and I needed someone who was not me, in my head. Freya was calming and soothing, if a little skittish at times.  She dresses like a goth queen and calls herself wicca. Though I don’t think she’s been able to pull off anything magical. She knows I don’t get it, but she’s cool with me anyway.

“Hey, Merlin, I haven’t heard from you in a while, are you doing ok?”

“Sorta, are you busy today? Can I drop by?”

“Yeah, you know you can. I’m home and bored anyway.”

“I’ll be there in a half hour.”

“See you then, bunny.”

For whatever the reason, Freya always called me bunny. I was cute like a bunny, is what she told me when I asked her why, “See you in a bit,” I answered.

I hung up and nodded, sending Mordred a quick text, letting him know I would be home later, as I grabbed my bag and headed towards the bus stop. I could walk, but it would be a lot shorter of a ride and the bus would be here in ten minutes anyway. Making an hour walk, only 10 minutes. I knew some of the bus schedules like the back of my hand. Especially the ones that lead to Freya’s house. I’d know her for years and dropping by her house was something that always seemed welcome. Her parents loved me and let me crash there a lot over the years.

It was a little under a half hour that I got to her house and found myself knocking on her door.

Freya opened in seconds and threw her arms around me in a hug, “I’ve been worried.”

“Sorry,” I whispered, hugging her back, “Haven’t been myself lately.”

She let me go and pulled me inside, “Mom and dad are working late today, but they said to tell you hi and that we can order Chinese or Thai food. That’s what they’re in the mood for.”

“Yeah, ok.”

She locked the door and turned to me, “How’s it back home?”

“Moved out.”

Her eyes widened, “Since when?”

“Few weeks.”

“Where?”

“Mordred’s.”

“Are you two…?”

“No, not like that. Got kicked out, but I’m almost 18, so I’m not going back. Fuck her already.”

She nodded, “Fuck her indeed,” she took my hand and lead me to her room. Her walls were black and red, with spider webs, and skulls and symbols, that I wasn’t sure what they meant.

She slid on her bed and reached her arms out to me, “Come here bunny.”

I crawled into her arms and let her hold me, “You’ve been having it rough lately, huh?”

I nodded, “Mordred still think he’s in love with me.”

“He’s a nice guy. Are you sure you don’t want to try with him?”

“Mordred doesn’t feel right, you know? He feels like a friend and ok, sometimes he feels like more, but usually is just a friend.”

“He’d take care of you.”

“I don’t want to be taken care of.”

“No, you just want to move into the middle of the woods and live by yourself.”

“That would be ideal.”

“Well that’s not going to happen.”

I rolled off her and sighed, “How are you and Sefa?”

“Steady as usual. Another year.”

“What’s that make it now, 4?”

“And counting,” she nodded, “Anything else you want to share?”

“I may or may not be dating a cop, who thinks I’m 18.”

“Dating? You? A cop? What?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I cringed.

“Clearly,” she turned to me, “You wouldn’t mention him to me if it wasn’t important.”

“He makes me feel… stuff,” I answered, “Not bad stuff, but scary stuff.”

“Like love stuff?”

“No!” I sat up and grabbed the pillow and smacked her, “Not funny!”

She giggled, “Had to ask. Seriously, though, how long have you known this guy?”

“Not long.”

“But he’s important enough to mention?”

“He’s different.”

“So then go for it.”

“That’s not why I brought him up.”

“Then why?”

“I need help turning him down. Hard enough so he can get it, but in a non-asshole kind of way. Give me ideas.”

“Why are you turning him down?”

“Not interested,” I lied.

“Just tell him.”

“He’s not listening.”

“Ignore him?”

“He knows where I work.”

“The only right way to do it is to be honest, swift, and direct.”

“I’m pretty sure I already tried that.”

“It didn’t work?”

“No.”

“Ghost him.”

“Really?”

“Well are you going to report him?”

“No.”

“Then ghost him.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

I groaned, “I want Thai.”

She grinned, “Good, me too. Staying over?”

“Yeah, still got that bag of mine, in the back of your closet?”

“Yes.”

“Good, I got work tomorrow, I don’t want to have to run home.”

“Awesome. It’s been forever.”

“Yeah, are we going to make gummy Sundays?”

“Hell yes!” she laughed, “Now come on! Help me find the menu.” She stood up and started towards the kitchen. I sluggishly followed after her. I felt like I hadn’t slept in days. With Mordred and Arthur put on the back burner for now, I decided to just go with flow. Freya made it easy, with her sweet personality and her willingness to distract me. I was grateful for reprieve of my own mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been having trouble focusing on this. Too much going on (as usual), but finally finished this chapter. Well... I've always been slow on updates anyway. Please let me know what you think, since I'm not 100% sure I should continue this one, I'd really like some feedback on it.


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